Too Many Bikes?

My Trusty Steeds Await!

I was in my garage the other day and a question popped into my middle-aged noggin’: Geez, do I have too many bikes? Nah, you can never have too many bikes, right? It is a guy thing I guess. Kinda like too many tools! You can never, ever have too many tools. I can prove it too. When my Dad died back in 1991, my Mom gave me all his tools, at least almost all of them anyway. What I discovered was that not only did I get my Dad’s tools, but I got his Dad’s tools too!

Seems every time someone comes over to visit, the inevitable tour of the house follows, and they always say the same thing when they enter the garage: “Man, you have a lot of bikes!” And…invariably they always start a verbal count…one, two, three, on…and on…and on…until they satisfy themselves that I, indeed, have too many bikes. Then the conversation usually centers on my justification of too many bikes and the fact that I, indeed, ride every single one of them. I even get a little embarrassed sometimes and add, “well, I do build my own so the cost stays down.” Robin Williams is a big cyclist (50 bikes, last I heard) and he buys a new bike practically every time he sees one. His wife commented one day saying that he had too many bikes. His reply: “well, they could be Ferrari’s.” Man, I can identify with that statement for sure. I’d feel a little guilty about having too many bikes, but I do in fact ride every one of them, and I enjoy it.

I even tried to get rid of a few frames once, but they are kinda like old friends now ya know. They keep coming back like homing pigeons or something. I tried to sell the Team Fuji on EBay, but nobody wanted the darn thing even though I lowered the price several times. So, I gave it a face lift and turned that puppy into a single speed. And it was a good thing I did, too. I’ve never had so much fun on a bike before. I also tried to get rid of the old Trek 2300 first-generation carbon-aluminum frame and nobody wanted that either. Couldn’t even give the darn thing away. So, I kept that one too and my plan is to turn it into a straight-bar road machine for be-bopping around the neighborhood.

OK, You can stay...But you can have only one gear!

They say the measure of a man is what people remember about him once he’s dead and gone. Well, as far as I’m concerned they can remember me as: Mozam, the guy who had a lot of bikes!